


Cortisol and Adrenalin

by chibisora



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Heartbreak, Jace deals with feeling Alec's heartbreak through their rune, Other, Parabatai, Post episode 2x18, idk where this came from tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 07:38:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11709849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibisora/pseuds/chibisora
Summary: "A parabatai is a pair of Nephilim warriors who fight together as lifelong partners, bound together by oath, regardless of their gender. Their bond is not reflected only in their closeness and willingness to lay down their lives for one another, but also in oath—one sworn in front of the Council."And it was pretty damn convenient when it came to battle, but not when one of them was going through heartbreak.





	Cortisol and Adrenalin

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So, I don't really know where this came from, to be honest. It was supposed to be a thing about Jace comforting Alec and it turned to this instead. I will probably add another chapter or two so we actually see the comfort Jace has to offer his parabatai, but we'll see.
> 
> Also, What Simon is saying about heartbreak is completely true! The human brain is really incredible, isn't it? I'll link it for you guys to read more about it [here](%E2%80%9Dwww.sciencealert.com/this-is-what-happens-to-your-brain-when-you-get-your-heart-broken%E2%80%9D).

Jace Wayland hasn’t had an easy life. He grew up being raised by the most evil and dangerous Shadowhunter alive. He grew up believing that the dad he thought he had was brutally murdered by Valentine. And that’s one small part of all the lies he’s had to deal with. Jace has had to grow up far too fast and far too soon. Every hit that life has thrown his way, Jace Herondale has faced it head on. So why is it that when it comes to his brother, his parabatai, he’s at a loss of what to do. It’s been a week since he found Alec crying right outside Max’s door. In all his time that’s he’s been a part of the Lightwood family, Jace has never seen Alec break the way he did. What do you do when the strongest Shadowhunter you know is a crumbled, sobbing mess because his boyfriend broke up with him?  
  
Now, Jace has had a lot of dating experience but this feeling, this gnawing, empty feeling in the pit of his stomach was new. And he knows it’s Alec. It’s Alec who’s feeling this way and probably feels it to a much higher degree. And Jace doesn’t know what to do. He’s never been through heart break like this.  
  
You can say that his feelings for Clary came close to the level of love his brother feels for the warlock, but he knows that’s not true. Because Jace has never had the pleasure that is getting to know Clary Fray. Not in the way that Alec had the chance to know Magnus. The way that they only belonged to each other, without anyone coming in between or interfering.  
  
And so when Alec is clinging to him and with a shaky voice asks him, “When isn’t going to stop hurting?” Jace doesn’t know what to say. He may be the more experienced one when it comes to the physical aspect of relationships, but he has no idea how it feels to have someone break up with him and having it mean something.  
  
He doesn’t know how to be there for Alec. A really big part of him wanted to go to Magnus’ loft himself and tell him a few choice words. And Jace had voiced this aloud when Alec told him the reason for his distress, only to have Alec plead with him to just let it be.  
  
And that had been that. But now it’s a week later, Alec’s turned into this zombie version of himself, and everything still feels so fucking shitty. Jace let out a frustrated grunt and kicked the side table next to him.  
  
“Hey, can you not kick over my things? I kind of live here.” Simon walked into the boat house, making his way past Jace and on to his bed.  
  
Alec had sent him and Clary to talk to Luke and check out the situation with the newly turned werewolf, Bat. See if there was anything they could do to help. Clary was currently inside the restaurant with Luke, talking to the new pack member. Jace should be there too but his parabatai rune has been slightly throbbing and so he came here to let out some frustration. Clary would be fine without him.  
  
“Are you okay, though. No offense but you look like shit. I thought Max was okay?”  
  
The Shadowhunter sighed and sat himself next to Simon. “Max is fine. It’s Alec. I love the guy and I love being his parabatai and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but I am not loving feeling like fucking shit all the time.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
And Jace looks at Simon, because for some reason he wants to spill all his guts to him. And Jace doesn’t know when he actually started liking the Vampire or when he stopped seeing him as the enemy. But here he was, in his home for all intent and purposes, ready to vent.  
  
“It’s just this whole thing with Magnus…they like, broke up I think. I don’t know. Alec won’t talk about it. But he’s been miserable and me being his parabatai just means that I feel it too. It feels like someone’s repeatedly punching me in the stomach.”  
  
Simon let’s out a dry laugh. “Well, yeah I’d say that’s what heartbreak feels like. I mean literally, it’s your brain thinking that you’re physically injured.”  
  
“What?”  
  
The Vampire slightly squints at Jace, as if he were debating whether the Shadowhunter can be trusted with what he’s about to say next. “You can’t make fun of me for knowing this!” Simon exclaims and points an accusatory finger at the blond.  
  
“Yeah, no promises. What are you talking about?” Jace flicks Simon’s hand away from his face and angles himself towards the Vampire.  
  
Simon jumps up to sit crisscross and Jace almost wants to laugh at him for looking like Max when he tells him about his comics. “Okay, so there’s some MRI scans that have shown that people who’ve been dumped have higher activity in the part of the brain that registers physical pain. It causes all these stress hormones like cortisol and adrenalin to be released and that’s what makes you feel nauseated or makes it hard for you to breath.”  
  
And Jace must have some perplexed expression on his face because Simon is quick to stand up and starts pacing. “I know it sounds weird but listen, this is so cool! Not that it’s cool that Alec is going through this, or-or you. I just mean-“  
  
Jace groans a let’s himself lie back on the mattress with his arms behind his head. “Get on with it Vampire. You’re already losing me here.”  
  
“Okay. It’s really fucking weird. Okay, so they did another study that showed the brain activity of someone going through heartbreak was similar to the brain activity of a cocaine addict going through withdrawal. It’s really messed up! And there was also-“  
  
Clary comes through the doors just then, stopping Simon from what was probably a long and thorough lecture of the scientific matters of the heart. She looks between the two before turning her attention to Jace.  
  
“Hey, Bat seems okay and there isn’t really much for us to do here. We should probably head home and get back on the Jonathan tracking.”  
  
Jace sighs and sits back up. “Yeah. I’ll be right out.” Jonathan, Valentine, the impending war. All this crap that they have to deal with and on top of all that he’s got his parabatai to worry over. Whom, according to Simon, is probably going through some Magnus withdrawal or something.  
  
“Okay, hurry up though. I want to see if Alec will let us go to his home to search for clues.” She directs a small smile at the Vampire and then Clary is out the door.  
  
Jace takes this time to look at Simon, who’s looking at the door with a wistful expression. He and Simon hadn’t really talked since everything with Clary and the Seelie court happened. It’s not like they were friends, anyway. And then the whole mess with the mundane happened, and Valentine escaping, and a whole lot of crap going on that the Shadowhunter never really gave Simon much thought.  
  
“How did you deal with Clary breaking up with you? Did you get over it?” And that seemed to being Simon out of his reverie.  
  
“I don’t think I’m the best example of how to handle a break up. I got drunk and almost killed a mundane so…” Simon laughed sheepishly and made his way back on his bed.  
  
“Right. Anyway um, thanks for listening I guess. And telling me about the brain thing.”  
  
Jace is almost out of the boat house when Simon calls after him.  
  
“It’s just- It really sucks when someone who you think you were going to be with for a long time decides to change their mind. I know you’re annoyed with feeling like this but there’s no magic cure for it. And trust me, I think Alec wants to be over it by now way more than you do.”  
  
And Jace sort of feels guilty for making Simon go through this kind of pain. He didn’t think the Seelie queen would have them play such a twisted game and he didn’t think Clary would have picked him either. And maybe he should apologize to Simon, but he’s not sorry for loving Clary and he won’t be sorry for her picking the Shadowhunter instead. Maybe one day they'll sit and talk about all of that.  
  
“Talking helps and binge eating. And I know you guys are not about the mundane lifestyle but, crappy movies and ice cream does a lot. You’d be surprised.”  
  
Jace offers a smile and a chuckle before heading out the door.  
  
“Thanks, Simon.”


End file.
